Baffled

So, I Went Into The Kitchen…

…to throw something in the trash, and I saw this:

20130304_211845

 

It’s a tomato stem.  My brain, however, did not see a tomato stem.  It saw a GIANT SPIDER, and then realized my hand was moving toward the giant spider to toss my tissue into the trash.  If my brain and body would regulate their energy usage for normal daily activities instead of saving it up so I can flail my arms like a helicopter and jump three feet into the air when I see a anything that resembles a giant spider, I could get a lot more done in a day.  A lot more.

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Categories: Baffled, Tuesday Thoughts | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Sea Veggies?

So, the other day I was shopping for ingredients to make my own laundry soap (see how to do it on the Sugar Pie Farmhouse blog – the soap is awesome).  As I was searching all over the store for what I needed, I happened to see these natural Sea Veggies snacks.  They were expensive but sounded interesting, so I thought, “Why not?”

This is what they look like:

20130114_122314

I’m trying to eat more healthfully.  These are full of vitamins and all sorts of wonderful things!  You get 12 of these little sheets of snack in the bag, and all of them together are only 35 calories!  Hooray!

 

 

This is what I looked like after I ate 3 little sheets:

Grumpy-Cat-01

Image from www.grumpycats.com

 

Blargh.  It tastes like you got a mouthful of ocean by accident when you didn’t want to.  And so does the aftertaste, that won’t go away even after half a cup of coffee.  Not nice at all.  I’m sorry, people who make Sea Veggies.  I’m sure you have the best of intentions and all the vitamins and nutrients are super good for me.  If you made them taste like nothing at all, I would seriously gobble them up because the texture is nice and light and crunchy, so you’ve got that going for you.  And I suppose they might go well with sushi for those who like that sort of thing.  But no…no thank you.

Categories: Baffled, Do Not Want, Food, Reviews | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Black Friiidaaayyy…

 

Ugh, the term “Black Friday” sounds so sinister.  It doesn’t sound like, “We’re having this awesome sale so you can afford super Christmas gifts for your loved ones!” or “Come on down, get great deals, and celebrate the start of the festive holiday season!”  It sounds like, “You have to come really early and there will be way too many people, and they will all get to the good stuff before you do, and then we will EAT YOOUUUU…<maniacal laugh>

 

Image-Flat-4

Categories: Baffled, Do Not Want, Holidays | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

To Throw the Impossible Newspaper

This is how we found our newspaper this morning:

2011-05-14 09.29.34

 

2011-05-14 09.29.18

 

2011-05-14 09.30.08

Categories: Baffled, Cool Stuff, Success! | Tags: , , , , | 6 Comments

Tea…and a Tornado?!

First, I would like to apologize for having only one photo of anything from my interesting day.  But, I’m writing about it anyway!

Today I went to the Gardner House Bed and Breakfast in Stayton for afternoon tea with my mom and two friends.  You can see the Gardner House menu and information here.  We sat in a lovely parlor with a fireplace and had the “Light Tea”, which included a fruit cup, savory tarts, tea-size sandwiches and desserts, and the Gardner House Blend Tea (Ceylon black tea with vanilla, spices, and dried fruit).

The 6-inch savory tarts were marvelous.  The server brought 2 of the “Oregon Smoked Gouda with Caramelized Onions and Prosciutto”, and 1 each of the “Oven Dried Tomato with Goat and Mozzarella Cheeses and Kalamata Olives” and the “Roasted Bell Peppers with Gruyere Cheese in Brown and Wild Rice Crust”.  We each took of quarter of all 3 varieties.  The Smoked Gouda tart was my favorite, and is their most popular.  The fresh fruit cup included melon, grapes, pears, starfruit, and pomegranate seeds.

For sandwiches, we each had a tiny cheesy puff with a tuna mixture, a cucumber mint, and an egg salad.  All of them were absolutely delicious (and I don’t even eat egg salad!)!  For sweets, we had a star-shaped chocolate shortbread cookie, a pretty gingerbread apple cake with a dollop of hard sauce, and a chocolate-dipped English toffee chunk.  These came to our table on one of those adorable tiered china serving plates, which I just love.  I think I love them because they only come out on special occasions and always hold wonderful noms.   The china on the table was in different rose patterns, which I also love.  Happy!

The spiced tea was very nice and Christmas-y and even better with a little bit of sugar, which came in a glass bowl with a silver lid and a tiny silver spoon decorated with a teapot.  We each got our own little teapot full of tea, and mine was pink.  Afternoon tea is so cheerful and festive!  I highly recommend the Gardner House – wonderful food and nice service, and they have pastries you can buy to take home.  I couldn’t resist the Lemon-Glazed Lavender Scone to eat for my breakfast tomorrow, and I got a Pain au Chocolat and a Sugar Bun as well, ostensibly for other members of my family. 

DSC08631

 

 

So, we have had record rains the last few days and a lot of wind.  On the way to Stayton (15-ish miles from my house) we came upon a large tree that had just fallen across the highway.  A few non-official looking men were working at cleaning it up and we had to drive around it on the left shoulder of the road.  An emergency vehicle was coming towards the area and we assumed the tree had just succumbed to the the wind and rain.  We didn’t find out until the middle of our tea-time that a tornado had come through.  A TORNADO.  

The tornado zipped through a little town called Aumsville, near Stayton, and caused a lot of damage.  Thankfully, nobody was hurt.  You can see photos here and an article here.  The photos of the plumbing company/barber shop building are incredible, the tornado just stole the roof and left the rest.  It’s like you’re looking into a doll’s house.  Now, to those of you who live in, say, Kansas this may seem like business as usual.  But we live in Oregon.  We don’t have tornadoes.  I think Ms. Melinda Smith said it best, as quoted in the article noted above:

"Suddenly, it got really dark and really quiet," Smith said. "I noticed a lot of stuff in the air across the street. There were a couple trampolines and sheds flying above the roofs. I told myself, ‘That’s not normal.’"

Well, it certainly isn’t!

Categories: Baffled, Food, Life, Miscellaneous | 1 Comment

Fashion Statement of the Day: “If you mess with me, I’ll cut off your tail and wear it!”

 

I didn’t even notice her shoes.  OH, how I wish I had gotten a photo of the actual girl while she was crossing the street.  I’m afraid you all will think I made it all up, but I didn’t.  She was REAL. 

Her fashion statement included:

 

1.  FLOATY ORANGE FLOWER PRINT CHIFFON TOP (similar to this, but sleeveless…)

Orange chiffon top

[Max Superstore]

 

 

2.  BLACK SKINNY JEANS, SHREDDED (much like these, but knee-length…)  

Shredded jeans

[Ami Clubwear]

 

Not too bad, really, but wait for #3:

 

3.  BUCK SPECIAL KNIFE ON BELT   (10.5” long with a 6” blade – my son has one just like it…)

Buck Special Knife 2

[Kennesaw Cutlery] 

 

aaaaaaaaand…

 

4.  A TAIL

 

Like this guy’s.

gray_wolf_5932_np

I was wondering if there was a full moon last night and she hadn’t quite transformed all the way back, but then I found this on the interwebs (Hot Topic – $14.99):

 

Wolf tail

And this (see the tail?).

Japanese DJ

 

I thought the ‘80s look was the big thing now, but I don’t remember wearing a tail.  Legwarmers, rubber bracelets, neon, big permed hair, punk, sure.  But I’m almost positive we didn’t wear tails of any kind on a regular basis.  Perhaps they are tossing in a few items from the 1880s

Fashion – you are never too old to be amused by it!  (Well, unless you are a wolf.)

 

“I has a mad, and people who wear tails are it.”

Wolf Growling_and_Angry-ab

Categories: Animals, Baffled, Fashion, Observations, People | Leave a comment

Irony of the Day

 

Saw this gentleman yesterday while coming back from the pumpkin patch with my friend and her daughter…

vespa-harley

Harley guy on a Vespa, or Vespa guy with a Harley jacket?  Judging by the shoes, I’d say the latter.  Did he borrow his friend’s jacket?  Did he borrow his friend’s Vespa?  Did the salesman convince him a Vespa was just more practical?  What do you think?

Categories: Baffled, Fun, Keizer, People, Photos | Leave a comment

The Rime of the Ancient 40-Year Old Person

Based on Part 1 of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The mirror – it startles me.

Skull or Lady in Mirror

It is an ancient, common tale,
And we do not like to think
That our lustrous hair and lovely eye
May someday be extinct.

Our big bright eyes were open wide,
And we were cute and thin;
We did not fret, the mirror showed
Pink cheeks and glowy skin.

It held us there in happiness
“Yes, I approve,” it said.
And thoughts of aging gracefully
Were put into our heads.

It holds me now in disbelief,
I gasp when I stand still,
And catch a glimpse of how it shows
Its lack of kind goodwill.

My heart is sinking like a stone,
I cannot choose but hear,
And thus cackles that shiny fiend
“You’re not the same, my dear!”

Then I was cheered, my face had cleared,
Of spots and pimply beasts,
Below though, they were lurking,
To get me while I sleep.

The sun is up now in the east,
Out of my bed I crawl,
And see a face reflected that
Just isn’t me at all!

Higher and higher every day,
My expectations loomed.
I’d diet, I’d fuss, I’d stay for hours
In the exercising room.

Frustrated, I pace back and forth,
Red in the face, I sigh.
The scale, who is not my friend,
Shows me an all-time high!

“I’ve worked so hard, I do not know
What gives, for heaven’s sake?”
And thus goes on the ancient rhyme
From night until I wake.

Now a storm-blast, not a smile,
Assails me when I think,
That I’m NOT aging gracefully,
The opposite, I think!

I’ve sloping masts and dipping prow,
I’ve crow’s feet, lines; I’m pudgy.
These thoughts just make me want to eat
Some pie, or something fudgy.

I should turn back, loud roars the snack,
(I ate it, now it’s quiet!)

And now there is a misty fog,
My vision’s getting blur’y.
The eye doctor said “It’s just age,”
And told me not to worry.

It really seems just yesterday
That I was seventeen.
No shape of what I used to be
The mirror is all between.

The mirrors are here, the mirrors are there,
The mirrors are all around:
They mock and laugh, and roar and howl,
My self-respect is down!

At length did sneak the wrinkles,
Through the years they came;
As they had been a horrid smell,
I curse them, but in vain.

I ate chocolate to comfort me,
Chubby and plump I grew.
My jeans did split with a thunder-fit;
But I would not buy new!

And a good dose of denial came by,
“You’ll be fit again!” did follow,
But every day, I was still plump
In sadness I still wallow.

In mist or cloud, in sun or gray,
Age perched to stare at me;
While overnight, I’d think each morn,
It multiplied times three.

“God save thee, ancient lady,
From your loss of self-esteem! –
Why look’st thou so?” — “I’m old, and lo!
I bought the hundred-dollar cream!”

~Noelle Marier  ©2010

Categories: Aging, Baffled, Health, Life, Miscellaneous, Observations, Poetry | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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