Animals, Pets

Which Pet Is Best?

(From an essay I wrote for my English 101 class in college last week.)

Bears are some of the most adorable creatures in the animal kingdom. They are roly-poly, have cute faces, and look terribly cuddly. For these reasons they should make wonderful pets. In my opinion, however, cats make much better pets than bears. In this writing, we will examine the topics of each pet’s size, cost, and temperament.

First, cats are smaller and more portable. A cat can, in theory, be picked up and moved to wherever you want it to be. In order to move a bear, you might actually have to hire a team of movers, (or have donuts). In this same vein, a cat can fit on your lap for snuggles. A nice large bear could weigh a thousand pounds and would therefore not fit on a regulation-sized human lap, much as it might want to. A bear this size would likely squash your sofa, so sitting together watching television would not be very feasible. A cat-sized pet just works much better in your living room.

When you have a cat in the house he will easily find a place to sit or sleep, and will take short little naps throughout the day with bursts of speed or eating in between. Your bear would find it hard to get comfortable in most rooms of the house because of his size. You might have to remove your favorite coffee table to make space for him when you watch movies. He would undoubtedly insist on hibernating all winter long and would need his own room so he wouldn’t be woken by the washing machine or the coffeemaker. A new bear parent would likely fail to budget for an extra room for their pet, to say nothing of the amount of extra food the bear would want when he wakes up from his long winter’s nap.

As far as food goes, cats do not eat very much. One can of cat food plus three-quarters of a cup of crunchy food per day is enough for most cats, with a freeze-dried minnow or two at snacktime. Our large bear friend could eat up to 90 pounds of food per day just before hibernating, and that would need to be fresh-caught wild salmon at between fourteen and seventeen dollars per pound. This might be cost-prohibitive for most ordinary pet owners. The bear would also be very interested in all of your food and treats, especially donuts. While your cat might taste your donut, he wouldn’t really care much about it. Your bear would eat your donut off your plate and demand the other eleven donuts. It would be very hard to keep donuts in the house if your pet was a bear.

A bear is a wild animal, and is therefore unpredictable. While you might argue that domestic cats can also be unpredictable, the damage that could be done by a capricious cat is not the same as what could be done by a bear who, say, suddenly decides he doesn’t like the movie you’re watching and tries to eat your new T.V.  While your cat might get testy for no reason and scratch or bite you, a little soap, water, and Neosporin will usually take care of the problem. You would have to be much more careful not to annoy your bear, because a scratch or bite from him would undoubtedly cause more extensive damage. An E.R. trip might be in order, with the added expense of an ambulance ride, and nobody wants that.

In conclusion, while bears are delightful animals (and could actually guard your house, which cats mostly refuse to do), I think most will agree that cats score higher on the list of pet pros than bears do. Cats eat less, take up less space, and while just as easily annoyed as bears, do not have the capacity to cause as much pandemonium. And since there are so many more cats than bears available, you can literally always find one (or more) to invite into your home. Your kitty will reward you with cuddles and purrs, as well as playtime and laptime – and there are not many things better than those!

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